THE POWER OF LETTING GO
On final during the 3rd landing of my first solo as a pilot, for no good reason I abruptly ‘go-around’ (power up, pitch up and try it again). On the next approach, I again ‘go around.’ By the fourth attempt, I wonder if I can just stay up, order in and see what happens. I brainstorm on where to go crash so my instructor won’t see.
During those low moments, I hear my instructor’s voice: “Janet, takeoffs are optional but LANDINGS ARE MANDATORY!” I have to do this. To do this, I have to let go.
I see my white clenched fingers choking the control wheel. The plane is trimmed up and knows how to fly but I’m over-controlling. “LET GO!” I relax my grip, land and taxi off the runway. I don’t recall the landing but my instructor told me it was the best of the three. Trust, relax and go with it.
Let go.
When the path isn’t clear (like these days), our survival instinct urges us to hang on to anything, even though it might be wrong or harmful.
1. What are you hanging onto? What are so sure of? Maybe it’s wrong. Conspiracy theories flourish when our critical thinking brain caves into our survival brain, which is hanging onto the wrong things. Let go of being sure. Listen to good science. Facebook, Twitter and YouTube are brimming with bad science. Follow real evidence, not strong opinion. The knowledge base of strongly opinionated people is low. Don’t let them take you off track.
2. “Clear away the wreckage of the past” means let go, rewrite, reframe. There is nothing you can do to change history. The way you were working before was amazing, but it wasn’t sustainable. It was best for that time, but this is a new time.
3. Start from scratch and build your new path. Mike Dooley’s ‘The Matrix’ has helped many people do this: it works in business too. Detach from the red and yellow and even some blue (below). These were built in the past. Deep breath, let them go.
Like Covey’s “start with the end in mind” …. start in the green, with a list of what you want in your life … things that you alone control - like love, security, happiness and so on.
From the green side, work right into the blue and list the kinds of qualities or activities that would feed the green list, and then work right into the yellow list of specific actions, projects, events that would feed the blue list.
Do this exercise once a quarter to make sure you aren’t hanging on to anything in the red or yellow columns that doesn’t any longer support you.