Beat Decision Fatigue and Make Better Decisions

“The hardest thing about making decisions is not making them, but knowing when you’ve made too many.”
— Anonymous

Executive Summary

✅ Decision fatigue is real: the brain’s decision-making capacity is finite each day.

✅ 72% of leaders report feeling paralyzed in decision-making due to overload and stress.

✅ Avoid overload by making key choices early, batching decisions, and reducing low-stakes decisions.

✅ Your brain is a “cognitive miser”—it avoids energy-intensive thinking when overloaded.

✅ Recovery (via nature, rest, exercise) restores capacity for better decisions.

Our brains were not built for the complexity of modern life. Every choice—from what to wear to how to answer an email—uses precious mental energy. The more decisions we make, the less capacity we have for smart, thoughtful ones later on.

That’s why grocery stores put the candy at checkout. After 30 minutes of decisions, your brain is tired. You’re more impulsive. Less careful.

The American Psychological Association’s recent Harris Poll showed that 32% of adults struggle with even basic decisions. Among global leaders, 72% reported being paralyzed in decision-making due to stress, and 86% feel less confident in their decisions. That’s not personal failure. It’s biology.

Your brain is what psychologists call a cognitive miser—it conserves energy by avoiding unnecessary effort. That includes decisions. It’s why we default to habits, routines, and social cues.

To make better decisions, we need to stop overwhelming the system. That means:

📌 Make key decisions early in the day when cognitive energy is highest.

📌 Avoid stacking complex decisions—three or four in a row is the limit.

📌 Eliminate unnecessary ones (“You pick the movie tonight”).

📌 Build rest into your day: a walk, a shower, or even 10 minutes of quiet can restore decision capacity.

📌 Reduce the number of things on your to-do list. Mental clutter is the enemy of clarity.

In a world of infinite options, we must guard the finite energy that allows us to choose well. Good decisions come from a well-resourced brain.

The Brain Behind the Choice: Using Values to Make Better Decisions

“Tell me what you pay attention to, and I will tell you who you are.”
— José Ortega y Gasset

Executive Summary

• Every decision is driven by how our brain calculates value—often without our awareness.

• Our value system weighs choices based on past experience, present context, and future goals.

• We favor what is familiar or identity-reinforcing, even if it’s misaligned with long-term growth.

• Awareness of how these systems operate gives us a chance to intervene and shift our behaviors.

• Small cognitive shifts can make future-oriented or more aligned choices feel immediately rewarding.

At every moment, we’re choosing. What to eat. What to say. Whether to send that email or go for a walk. We tend to believe our decisions are rational, but most are shaped below the surface—by unconscious patterns our brains have learned over time.

In her powerful new book What We Value: The Neuroscience of Choice and Change, neuroscientist Emily Falk explains how our brains assign value to different options. This value calculation—performed by a network of brain regions known as the value system—is the hidden engine of nearly every choice we make. We imagine we’re in control, but often, we’re just following what feels most familiar or comfortable.

For example, when Falk faced the decision to go for a run or finish work, her brain—already fatigued and influenced by context—chose the inbox. Her value system, shaped by identity (“I’m a dedicated researcher”), past outcomes (“I’ve been rewarded for answering emails”), and current fatigue, made the run seem less worthwhile. This choice wasn’t irrational—it was just automated by her brain’s algorithms.

But there’s hope. Falk shows that values aren’t static. They’re fluid and responsive. We can nudge our decisions by changing what we focus on. If we frame running not as a chore but as a chance to connect with a loved one or boost creative thinking, it starts to compete with the inbox. That’s not tricking the brain—it’s re-weighting the value calculation toward what we actually care about.

Recognizing the unconscious scaffolding of our decisions allows us to realign. We can pause and ask: “What am I really valuing in this moment? Is that aligned with who I want to become?”

As Falk says, “Understanding this can help us identify opportunities to change.” Decisions are not just about self-control. They’re about visibility. We can’t choose options that our brains never consider.

The first step toward change is getting more options on the radar.

Engagement: OUT Well-Being: IN

But what does that mean and who cares any more?

Since 2013, engagement has hovered around 30% despite a plethora of initiatives. Why?

1. Lack of top leadership buy-In. Employees resent that leadership ‘placates’ without really caring.

2. Poor or infrequent surveys, and lack of action taken on those that are done.

3. No payoff to initiatives that were just seen as time-wasters.

Turns out that Oxford University research has found that employee well-being, not engagement, is the driver of productivity and business success. Well-Being means measuring how people feel at work. When employees are happy, less stressed, and feel connected, they bring their best selves.

This is short-form Oxford assessment used:

1. I am happy at work most of the time.

2. My work has a clear sense of purpose.

3. Overall, I am completely satisfied with my job.

4. I feel stressed at work most of the time.

1. Belonging is the most impactful, yet only 6% of leaders see belonging as ‘important’.

2. Feeling cared about

3. Friendships and connection

4. Feeling appreciated

1. SAY IT

Tell people they belong and why. A recent focus group of San Diego YMCA members (and staff) found that the key to retention was a feeling of belonging to community, that someone cared about them being there. The YMCA banners “You Belong” have a positive impact.

2. REWARD IT

Highlight even small achievements, innovations, and steps forward by name and team. Celebrate birthdays and milestones with simple gestures. Hold special events, icebreakers, team competitions, pop-ins. San Diego’s Liberty Military Housing schedules senior leaders to visit sites with treats and to just ‘hang out’ with employees.

2. PROVE IT.

Be available. Open a direct channel of communication, whether it’s on your intranet, an open texting system like New Balance, or a monthly town hall with the CEO—all where topics can be brought up without fear of punishment.

Listen. If surveys say that reasonable work hours, discouraging after-hours emails, requests to check-with-us-first-before-demanding-change is important - make the effort!

3. BUILD IT

Build belonging with team projects that bond people, cross-departmental happy hours or team lunches that allow employees to know each other well enough that they can work toward  celebrating each other’s accomplishments.

THE POWER OF HARD CONVERSATIONS - PART THREE - FOLLOW THIS FORMULA

FOLLOW THIS FORMULA FOR HANDLING TRIGGERS

You find conversations hard because they might will involve conflict. You avoid conflict both because you don’t want others to be mad at you and because in the past you’ve been at a loss for words, feel like you failed, and left the conversation in shame. That creates a powerful motivation for avoidance.

If you follow this formula, you will no longer be stuck. You will expect someone to trigger you, and you will be able to bring the conversation back on track. You will leave with a resolution at the end.

THE FORMULA: WHAT-WHY-WHAT-WAIT

1. WHAT

DESCRIBE TO THE OTHER PERSON THE BEHAVIOR THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE.

Start with the word: “when.” “When you are late for meetings …”

2.  WHY

STATE THE REASON IT HAS TO CHANGE. “Other people’s time is impacted.” “The whole system falls behind.”

3. WHAT

MAKE THE DIRECT REQUEST.  Tell them WHAT specifically you want. “I would like you to be on time.”

4.  WAIT for the Trigger where you’ve been thrown off track in the past.

Defiant: “Others are late all the time.”

Tearful: “Why are you picking on me?”

5.  CALL out the Trigger (you can empathize, but you’re on to them, and it won’t work with you). Feel the quiet power in these sentences:

“I can see you’re upset. However, this is important let’s go through it.'“

“Screaming isn’t working, and we’re disturbing the others. Let’s speak quietly”

“I see you’re withdrawing. It’s best to speak up if something is working for you.”

“Blaming others doesn’t work. This is your responsibility, let’s fix it”

“Trying isn’t the same as doing, let’s see how you can do this.”

6. Get back to the issue. You are not buying in, you mean business.“However, it’s important you’re on time. Can we agree on that?” “What are the reasons why you’re late?” Problem solve reasons if appropriate. If no reasons, “So I‘d like you to be on time this week.”

7.  Consequences if behavior continues. (This step depends on your own guidelines)

“Because you’ve been late again twice this week … (consequences).”

Practice, practice, practice with friends, family, your pets. Get fluent and comfortable using the words. Ask your audiences to give you a hard time and see how you handle it.

You’ll find that if you follow this formula, you will no longer be stuck. You will expect someone to trigger you, and you will be able to bring the conversation back on track.

You will leave with a resolution at the end.

And realize the power of Hard Conversations.

WHY ARE YOU TRIGGERED?

THE POWER OF HARD CONVERSATIONS PART TWO

Your emotional triggers (how people can get to you) are made up of unresolved trauma. You think your triggers are hidden, but others can spot them and take advantage of them. You can’t be comfortable with conflict until you disable your triggers.

In a perfect world, if you approached someone with  a request for a change in behavior, people would say: “Thanks for pointing that out” and change their behavior. :) But their unresolved trauma and defenses prevent them. So, you’re faced with working through their defenses as well as your own! But being aware of your triggers, you can prepare a response ahead of time, and not let yourself be distracted or taken in.

Look through these common triggers. Which ones have people used with you?

Is there one grouping that has received more check marks than the others?  Any sense where that comes from?

You don’t have to understand a trigger’s origin before you dismantle it. You do need to understand that your vulnerability to certain behaviors result from your old stories and that you can let them go now.

A PERSONAL NOTE ABOUT TRIGGERS

The human spirit is an amazing self-healer and protector. The habits you have developed are self-protective. Even the habits you don’t like in yourself are not weaknesses; they are strengths.

If you find it hard to risk upsetting people, you avoid confronting acting-out team or family members, or shrink when others are irate - there is nothing wrong with you. All your old behaviors have served a purpose. Ask yourself if they are still a service to you.

Every phase you've ever gone through was you working it out in that moment with the information you had at the time. You can cringe at what you might've done a couple of years ago and cringe at the things you actually did, but most important, celebrate where you've been, who you are now, where you are now, and where you're going. This acceptance gives your old stories permission to resolve and to reshape themselves into stories that serve you better.

• You no longer need to be vigilant for others’ moods because you’re an adult now, and can care for yourself.

• Detach from the concern about how other people are feeling. Trust that if someone else has an issue or a problem it is their job to express it. They are responsible for keeping their side of the street clean. You don’t need to be sweeping your co-workers or partners sidewalk for them. It’s exhausting and is usually not appreciated.

Watch next week for Part Three: Follow the Formula. If you follow this formula, you will no longer be stuck. You will expect someone to trigger you, and you will be able to bring the conversation back on track.

You will leave with a resolution at the end.

And feel the Power of Hard Conversations.